Team Exchange
by Year of the Cat Fanclub
Summary: Sortof crackfic. Based on a rather stupid dream of Yuki's. Involves us taking the place of the reikaitantei in the Dark Tournament. No pairings, severe OOCness, broken rules, general stupidity and insanity. Written by Yuki and Kyou.


Written by Yuki, with spelling, paragraph, grammar, and minimal plot help from Kyou (Mistress of Muses)

**Yuki's Authors note**: This is a mix of the Dark Tournament in YuYuHakusho and my dream about it. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, and Genkai were fighting a battle in the tournament that the Toguro brothers invited them into. In my dream the five of them decided to switch their team with five girls that they were teaching. These girls are me and some of my friends

Uo, named Yuskia, is Yusuke's student. Tohru, named Kuwasara, is Kuwabara's. Kyou (Mistress of Muses: Hehehe, me!), named Haia is Hiei's. Hana, named Genkei, is Genkai's. I (Yuki), named Kurena, am Kurama's. All of us have similarities to their looks and personalities. Anyway, in the show the five guys wouldn't be able to switch everyone for five others. The rule is one substitute when it is absolutely needed. As you can see I screwed with the tournament rules, just a bit. Bwahahaha!

This is my first attempt at writing a story like this, so I hope you enjoy. Oh, by the way, it may seem as if it was intentional to have the guys and girls in relationships. Such as, Hiei and Haia, or Kurama and Kurena. I promise that this is not true. I was simply trying to portray teacher student relationship, perhaps just a tad closer (friendship only!). There are no relationships! Except maybe that of Hiei and Kurama, but you can tell that from watching the show. Hee Hee. (Mistress of Muses: Don't hate us for that… it shouldn't bother you if you don't like the pairing.)

**Mistress of Muses' notes**: Yeah, there's a lot that doesn't make sense. But it was based on Yuki-chan's dream, so we stuck with that, and didn't try to make it make sense. We used English attacks and names, because that's what we're more familiar with. Allow the insanity, broken rules, OOCness, and inside jokes to commence! Oh, and number indicates I added a stupid corresponding comment to the end of the fic.

**Disclaimer**: Not ours, though the dream belongs to Yuki.

**Warnings**: Read the author's notes. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. SEVERE OOCness. Lots of broken rules. Suspend reality in order to read this. Minor violence. And if you squint really hard there's a little shonen-ai between Kurama and Hiei, but only if you're crazy like us and wanna see it.

And now…

**Team Exchange **

**Kuwabara vs. Rinku**

The rest of the team watched helplessly as their friend and companion was thrown around and shoved in a defenseless state. If Kazuma Kuwabara could not hold a victory, what would become of them?

"His strength is weakening." Kurama said with sadness.

"What are we going to do!" shouted Botan.

Yusuke shot back, "Botan, stop yelling! And what 'we'! The five of us are doing all the fighting, so if you don't mind, you could shut up for a second and let us think!"

Crash! Kuwabara hit the ground.

"I don't think he'll get up so easily after that one," said Hiei.

"Yes, I think you may be right," stated Kurama.

Contrary to everyone's belief, Kuwabara strained to rise.

"Why don't you just stay down, you can't win...my toys will get you." Rinku said with a smirk.

"Keep talking like you're great, I don't care. I can take whatever you got!" yelled Kuwabara.

"He's growing weaker by the minute. He won't last much," Kurama and Hiei said in unison.

Yusuke and his team thought hard about what they were going to do.

"We should just forfeit." Hiei reluctantly said. 1

Yusuke gave an odd look that was matched with Kurama's.

Yusuke said, "That's not like you, Hiei."

"Yes, I wouldn't say that in any other instance, but those are times when I see the point of fighting, and have any hope of winning." Hiei stated, with a glare.

"I don't think we have to do that, no matter how hopeless it looks. We could always use our..." Kurama started, but was stopped by the glare of sheer evil coming from his shorter black 'friend.' 2

Botan asked, "Are they really ready...Kurama?"

Hiei rolled his eyes and turned to her to say, "She will never be ready."

"You realize she can probably hear you, right?" Kurama pointed out.

Hiei gave a very long sigh and closed his eyes. Seconds later, he said very

quietly, "She's not even listening; she's playing cards with the others."

"Who's winning?" a random voice said. They all turned, startled to see a very bruised Kuwabara behind them.

Yusuke shouted, "While we were talking Kuwabara got beat."

Botan continued, "And now the other team already has someone, and he seems angry that no one has come up."

They slowly started realizing the whole stadium was getting impatient, chanting, "New fighter!"

Yusuke took command and said that they would take Kurama's idea. They all turned to look at Kurama, who had silently disappeared.

Kuwabara said, "Hey, where'd he go?"

Hiei looked up and shot onto the stage. Kurama had been walking towards Koto and was speaking to her. Hiei zapped behind Kurama, hearing him talk about the change of the Urameshi team. It was decided. They were going to switch out for the girls.

Koto announced to the stadium the change that was taking place. Kurama turned to Hiei and kindly asked if he would please tell "her" to come with the others.

Hiei again turned, closed his eyes, and took off his cloth uncovering his third eye. Kurama watched silently. After a long while Hiei turned and had a stare that told Kurama he failed to reach her.

"Go to her." Kurama said. Hiei nodded and ran.

After what seemed like forever, Hiei returned with 5 girls. Koto said, "Can the new Urameshi team please come forward and also the Rokuyoukai to be announced."

Both teams came up to the battle arena. "Announcing the Rokuyoukai team first; Roto, Zeru, Imajin, Gaou, and Chuu. On the Urameshi team, fighting for the earlier ones we have: Haia, Yusukia, Kurena, Kuwasara, and Genke. First two to fight are Roto and… please pick a fighter."

At this the earlier team of guys jumped up and started to debate with the girls about who would go first.

Kurama said, "Hmm, they all have been taught very well..."

"Hopefully," came the voice of the short dark teacher. Kurama shot a look at him telling Hiei to shut up and then continued, "I think Haia should be first."

Hiei glared at him and then at Kuwabara, and said, "No, I think Kuwasara should go now, for two reasons. One because I don't think my student is ready to fight, and two, Kuwabara always wants to show off and be first."

A very loud growl of protest came from the dark student telepath. "I am ready, Master, I am." said Haia.

Hiei pulled her off the arena and said, "I'm sure you are, but I'd rather you not go first, so I don't have to worry," he made sure Haia wasn't listening and then thought to himself, _You can't do very well, when your not fast enough to block attacks. That's not very reassuring for me as a teacher to see you perform the more complex attacks, yet you can't run. _

The two of them, as well as the other 7 turned to view the possible damage to Kuwasara.

"Fight!" Koto screamed.

The injured Kuwabara nervously said, "She better not make a fool of me by forgetting what she was taught."

"Not that your little tricks would be of much use in battle," Hiei responded. This brought on a look of he-helped-us-before from every one of his companions.

The first punch was landed and it happened to be on Roto's nose. "See, she's worth something, shrimp!" Kuwabara said proudly.

Seconds later, Kuwasara fell to the ground. Hiei smiled and said, "For now, perhaps." Then Kuwabara turned a little pink.

Kuwasara was up again, but was turned back to the ground by a bad blow of Roto's right fist. She staggered up and brought out her weapon. "Spirit Sword!" she screamed. Roto came at her again, but this time she was ready. She twisted herself out of his view and stabbed straight through the back. He made a terrible screeching and fell, dead.

"Well I guess there's no need for me to count. The Urameshi team wins, please change the board." Koto said.

The teams looked as the board was changed, and there was much rejoicing. 3 Kurama stated, "Kuwasara is not as worthless as you thought, Hiei. She came in handy. Actually, I think Kuwabara did a fine job, as did we all." Soaking the compliment in, Kuwabara gave Hiei a victorious smile, to which Hiei gave a glare and a snarl.

Yusuke patted his orange haired friend on the back and said, "Good job." Then he turned to Kuwasara and did the same.

She smiled a thankful smile, then Genkai's voice came in. "Enough with the celebrating. We must focus. I do believe that no one has noticed the need of a second fighter." They sized up the new opponent named Zeru, who used fire as a weapon.

Yusuke thought for a moment, then said, "I don't know who to send."

They all thought for a second and then Botan said, "Well, I think Haia should go. She can fight fire with flame."

Hiei glared and responded, "Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted." 4

Kurama answered, "No, now wait, Hiei." He stared at Haia and then said, "I think Botan may be right. Haia should fight fire with flame."

Hiei seized Kurama's sleeve and pulled him a little ways away. "How is she going to survive? She can't move out of the fire long enough to use flame."

Kurama asked, "Why don't you give her a chance? Let her prove herself to you." Hiei snarled, but unwillingly agreed.

Koto announced, "Zeru vs. Haia! Fight!"

Zeru gave a quick, little smile, then lunged. The first hit was his and it sent the dark little girl flying. She got back up and was ready to fight, again. She charged, but was to slow to catch him.

Zeru started the fire vs. fire fight. He sent flame hurtling towards her. Once again Haia was too slow to get out of the way. It sent her flying and burning towards the wall, barely above Hiei's head. They all ran towards her, as Koto started counting.

"1." This wasn't going well. "2." Koto had started counting and Haia wasn't even moving. "3." Hiei closed his eyes one more time and told Haia to try and move. The rest were calling her name. There was movement. Hiei opened his eyes to see his student running towards her opponent. "6." Hiei thought, _speed._

Haia answered out loud, "I can't, but I will make you proud of me, Hiei, I will." He gave a little smile.

She stepped back onto the battle arena and stared Zeru straight in the face. She had no idea what to do, now, and more fiery weapons were aimed at her. She decided to use speed, or try.

She started running, but all she was doing was a natural running in circles. Hiei shook his head, and Kurama gave a small smile. Her running confused Zeru so much, he stopped shooting at her. He asked, puzzled, "What are you doing?" Haia stopped and looked at him, then at Hiei.

She thought _what should I do, this isn't working! _Being a telepath, Hiei heard her and told her to use _"it". _

She thought for a second and then shakily rose her hand. She gained all her energy and took a deep breath. Zeru saw her supposed attack and made one of his own. Before he could do anything, Haia slowly and quietly said, "Dragon of the Darkness Flame." 5 Zeru stopped and gasped at the sight of the dark, smoky figure coming towards him.

Suddenly the entire stadium filled with darkness and smoke. Hiei's voice pierced the darkness. "That will do more harm to her than it ever would to me." The other 8 got sweat drops and started worrying.

The smoke finally lifted. The Urameshi teams looked hesitantly at the arena. Haia lay on the ground, her arm scorched. All three teams looked around for Zeru. Hiei was the first to spot him, or what was left. Looking in the direction of Hiei's eyes, Koto finally spotted Zeru.

She announced that Zeru had been smashed and charred into the wall. Everyone in the stadium looked in the direction the dragon had gone. The imprint of Zeru's was the only thing left; the wall around it was black and smoking. Koto informed everyone that the team of girls had won again. Hiei and Kurama raced onto the arena and carefully carried Haia off. They set her down, so she could rest.

Without even being given a chance to calm their nerves, the next angry opponent was up and waiting. Yusuke decided upon Kurena. Kurena looked at her master and then at Yusuke. "Um..." she started, but Kurama cut in.

"You'll do fine, Kurena. Show everyone what I taught you."

Unlike Haia, Kurena was not as anxious for battle. She fought only when she had to and was calm about it. Actually, the same could be said about their teachers.

Kurena walked onto the arena. Imajin was staring her down and getting impatient. Both opponents looked at Koto who went on to announce the two new fighters. "Imajin vs. Kurena! Fight!"

The first few minutes involved Imajin being offense and Kurena being defense. She couldn't hit him. Imajin noticed that he couldn't hit her either. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

Kuwabara said, "This is going to take awhile. They're not even hitting each other."

Kurama watched intently as his student dodged and bolted out of the way. "She's doing a very good job. She just can't get an offensive attack."

Kuwabara said, "Why doesn't she take her stupid rose out?"

Kurama responded, "Roses are never stupid, so it would be greatly appreciated if you didn't use those two words in the same sentence again."

Hiei continued, "Besides calling Kurama's rose stupid is not the smartest thing you could do. His rose is far more lethal than your lightning stick."

"Spirit sword, shrimp!" Kuwabara shouted back.

Hiei glared and said, "Call me that name just once more and see what sick, twisted positions I can form your body into." 6

Slam! Kurena hit the ground, and hit hard.

Yusuke watched and then pointed out, "I'm starting to feel the same as Kuwabara. Not about your rose, Kurama. I mean that she's not using her weapon, yet."

Kurama answered, "She will in due time." A few minutes went by with blows now too. A light voice came in and surprised them all.

"She fights like her teacher. She waits to bring out her weapon and fights with her hands. When she sees no other option, she takes out the ultimate weapon, her plants." Haia had come out of fiery sleep and was lying there attempting to move her injured arm. 7

The girls ran at her. Many "You did greats", and "I'm glad you're awakes" were spewing at her.

Hiei came over and glanced at her arm, then softly said, "Hn, you didn't do too badly, for a beginner."

Haia gave a big smile and said, "Thanks."

In all this commotion, they had almost forgotten about Kurena's fight. All eyes fell to the girl on the arena. "She has been doing well and Imajin's strength is slowly weakening." Kurama reassured everyone.

Kurena finally pulled out a weapon. Then came the words they were all waiting patiently to hear. "Rose Whip!"

But something was amiss. There was no whip only the single rose. Kurena tried again, no luck. She tried again and again and again. Each time the rose wouldn't show any sign of becoming a whip.

By this time, Kurena's face was turning a little red. She tried once more and, with no avail, chucked the flower at her opponent. He went on to tear it to shreds.

Seeing that made her angry. She had no idea what to do. Should she try a different plant? No, clearly plants weren't working, but she needed something.

Kurama called to her and tossed his precious flower. She turned to see it lying there, and watched it turn into a rose. "Remember what I taught you about the use of these plants. Remember!" Kurama urged.

Imajin sprang another attack. Again Kurena slipped from his grasp. She pulled the rose from the ground, and once more shouted "Rose Whip!"

Nothing happened. Her master's face dropped further than before. She tried many more times, but to no use. It was hopeless.

She became so frustrated with Kurama's rose that she got ready to throw that one, too. Her arm was suddenly grabbed from behind, preventing her throw.

Not being able to see Imajin, she assumed this was he and the fight was over unless she did something. She slammed her hand into Kurama's stomach. 8 Both his hands were focused on getting the rose out of the hands of his student.

Kurena slowly released the rose and pulled her fist away from her instructor. Kurama just stood there and said nothing. Kurena's mouth fell open, as if to speak, but there were no words. All she could do was stare at him.

The rose was suddenly pressed into her hand by Kurama. "Use it wisely." he said, fainter than she had ever heard him talk before.

'UGH! He's breathing hard and...I just hit my teacher in the stomach! How stupid! Haia will never let me live it down!' Kurena thought. 9

It was time for this to be over; she watched her Master slowly climb down off the arena and then rage ran through her. Imajin was so shaken up by what had just taken place, and was laughing at her because of where she landed that hit.

"He's on your team!" he squawked. This made Kurena so mad, she picked up Kurama's rose and screamed, "Rose Whip!" A beautiful picture of petals and fragrance flew.

She had a lot of energy built up behind this. One slash and it was over.

Imajin lay helpless and dying on the ground. Koto once again announced the girl's win. Kurena ran to the other nine and right into Kurama's arms. "I'm really sorry," she said, quietly.

"You did nothing wrong. I wasn't supposed to be up there in the first place." Kurama said with a smile. 10 They hugged again and then Kurena ran to the girls, after giving the rose back. All the girls told her she'd done a great job, but it was time for the next fight.

They decided upon Genke. Without a word she walked on the arena. She was going to be fighting Gaou.

"Fight!" came the command from Koto's lips.

Gaou was the first to attack, but he underestimated her movements. She easily slipped out of his way and slammed her fist on the back of his head. He fell, but got up with a badly bleeding nose. He tried again, only to meet with the same result. He tried a few more times, but he couldn't do it. Genke was just too fast. She was also refusing to attack him. He tried once more, this time sword in hand, trying to be faster. He attempted not to go in straight lines either. Nothing seemed to work, but he refused to give up.

"Man! This is taking forever!" Yusuke shouted.

"And nothing is even happening except for a whole lot of dodging," said Kuwabara.

_Right_ when he said that things changed. Everyone looked to the arena and was blinded by the light. It was quick and then over. Once everyone in the stadium got their sight back, the board had already been changed to yet another Urameshi team win.

Genke walked slowly off the arena and sat down. A dead Gaou was all that was left. A quick Urameshi team celebration and a clearing of the arena, and then Koto's voice came back in.

"Well, those were some light effects!" she said, "Anyway, it is time to have the remaining team members fight. On the Rokuyoukai team we have Chuu! On the Urameshi team, Yusukia!"

Both stepped onto the arena and stared at each other.

"Okay, here we go! Fight!" Koto screamed.

At first nothing happened. Then Chuu lunged. It was easy for Yusukia to jump out of the way of the very drunken Chuu's aim. After that it was nothing but a fistfight: one punch, then another. Knives came in next; slash, punch, dodge… It seemed like forever. Both were losing energy. Yusukia jumped over Chuu's head. As she did so she screamed as loud as she could, "Spirit Gun!" Nothing. She landed behind him and he dove. Cutting her, he fell to the floor. Yusukia, not understanding why her gun had failed, tried again. This time there was a tiny amount of light.

"Keep trying… You'll get it!" Yusuke shouted.

"Yes, sometime this century would be nice," mocked Hiei.

"Yeah, well your little apprentice didn't do so hot either!" cried Kuwabara.

To which Hiei replied angrily, "Little!" He then gave the famous Don't-Mess-With-Me Glare they had all come to know.

Kurama, realizing that this could get ugly, stepped between his bickering comrades. "Now is not the time to engage in pathetic little arguments amongst ourselves. We should be happily cheering our teammate on."

The girls nodded in agreement.

"Look!" Genke screamed. Everyone's eyes met the arena and saw that Yusukia had devised another plan. The words 'Spirit Shotgun' had just spewed from her lips. Then there was light and noise. It was over. A bloody Chuu lay half dead on the floor. Since that was a fairly new weapon for Yusukia, she was on her hands and knees breathing hard.

"Uremeshi team wins!" cried Koto.

The team quickly made their way to Yusukia. Everyone was congratulated and happily walked outside. Kurena and Haia announced the idea of celebrating with sweet snow. Kuraam, the only one paying attention to him, saw Hiei's eyes light up a little.

Kurama and Yusuke both saw this as a fitting way to end the day, so they spent the next couple of hours celebrating.

All teachers were thoroughly impressed with their pupils, but there was still training to be done.

That night, sitting in his room with Hiei, Kurama smiled. "Well, I think that was more of a success than you thought Hiei."

"Hn." Was the only response, but through telepathy Hiei said to his student, "Well, you actually didn't do too badly. Just don't think that means you've completed your training, or that I'll go easy on you. It'll only get harder." Haia picked up on it and smiled before falling asleep.

Hiei sighed and fell asleep as well. Kurama, looking at him, said, "This has been a long, successful, if somewhat painful day. But all's well that ends well." His eyes closed and both demons slept peacefully through the night.

Comments by Mistress of Muses

1 We know that would never happen. Blame the fact it was a dream.

2 'Friend' yeah, wink wink, nudge nudge.

3 Yeah, yeah, we couldn't resist.

4 We saw that T-shirt and decided it was perfect for Hiei.

5 And we also know I would NEVER be able to use that. Especially if I couldn't even run… It's a dream, get over it.

6 Yuki decided that was a perfect Hiei quote, and I thoroughly agree.

7 Heh, IF I used that I'd be DEAD. _Hiei _didn't wake up that fast, and he wasn't able to move his arm. Again, DREAM.

8 No, he isn't supposed to be up there.

9 Mistress of Muses: I wouldn't let you live that down.

Yuki: I know you wouldn't.

10 And we know they would have been disqualified. And they weren't. Deal with it!


End file.
